Right now, most of Mommy's communication with you sounds like this, "Sit in your chair" or "Keep that out of your mouth" and of course, "Don't hit Mommy." I hope that on day you will learn that Mommy is best able to share her feelings by writing them down. As I began writing the thank you letters to family for all of the birthday gifts they gave you, I decided to write a letter thanking you for all the gifts you've given me.
Yesterday you turned two years old. You are officially no longer my little baby boy, even according to you. "Is Cole a baby?" "No bebe" you would say.
Raising you is by far the hardest job I have ever had. There is never proper training and I often make mistakes. You frustrate me when you don't listen and throw your cup at dinnertime to signify "all done, get me down now."Most of my frustration stems from the fact I expect so much of you because I know you are capable of so many amazing things. However, I have to remind myself that even though strangers don't believe me, you are only 2 and are still constantly learning. And the testing me is actually part of your learning process.
Being your mother has made me come face to face with all my faults because you take after me in so many ways and I see my personal imperfections in you (although they just make you more perfect).
You are extremely stubborn like your mother and wish to try most things on your own. Unfortunately, you also get frustrated easily, like your mother, and quickly ask me for assistance, “hep, hep mama" or "Pix (fix) pease (please)."
Thankfully, there are times when I look into your beautiful blue eyes and see straight through to your kind heart. I'm reminded daily of your sweet soul. When we leave a play date, instead of just saying bye to your buddy, you end the night with a big hug. Or when Mommy bumps her funny bone and comes close to saying something not so funny, you come to kiss "mama boo boo." My favorite is whenever you want to read a book. You simply start backing up to whoever is closest to you and proceed to sit in their lap. So trusting that they will immediately welcome you with open arms, never worrying they wouldn't.
Being the child of two teachers, I grew up knowing how powerful it is to teach young minds, although I never actually wished to step foot in a classroom. But because of you, I've learned how good it feels to shape someone's mind. To hear you count, "1, 2, 5" makes my heart swell. I know you’ll get it eventually, but at least you’re excited to learn. As I was writing this and thinking of all the not-so-great traits you get from me, Curt reminded me that your love of learning and reading comes from me. That’s probably one of the sweetest things your dad as ever told me.
You have grown so much in the past year. As much as I miss my little baby, I'm excited to learn what kind of young boy you will become.
Thank you for giving me pure insight into myself because I see so much of myself in you.