I was having lunch with a friend of mine who was sewn from the same cloth as me. We’re lucky enough to have sons close in age and every lunch conversation gravitates toward them.

We’re chatting about the latest challenges we’re facing with our growing toddlers and she brought up something I wrote in my first blog. My first reaction was, “wow, someone actually reads these things.” But once I stopped patting myself on the back, I really started to listen to what she was saying and realized she was describing exactly how I felt the first few months of mommyhood.

We both see ourselves as fairly organized, together women who take care of our families by ensuring they are clothed, fed (even though I don’t do the cooking in my house, my life is centered around everyone being fed), and being where they need to be - that’s how we nurture. I’m not saying I’m not loving or affectionate in any way, but I’m not Mother Earth incarnate. You’ve seen those women who appear to be beaming light because they have so much love and patience it can’t possibly be contained within their tiny, thin bodies. I’m no where near that.

What I’m saying is I never saw myself as maternal I guess. I wanted a family more than anything and always saw myself as a mother, but never maternal. I know how to take care of my family and do a pretty good job at, but still, I don’t look at myself that way.

I think that’s where a lot of my mothering issues come into play. My husband is better at nurturing than I am. He keeps his feelings to himself, where mine are written in purple pen on my sleeve (why purple - it’s my favorite ink color). I like to do things for myself versus asking for help. He just has this natural ability to put anyone at ease from the moment he enters the room. I think that’s why my time on maternity leave was so hard on me (besides all the issues I had with Cole’s feeding, acid reflux, etc.). I didn’t naturally feel like an instant mother.

My friend and I agreed that because of our way of nurturing, it is best that we’re working moms otherwise we might always feel inadequate compared to the stay-at-home moms who are much more organic than we could ever be. But we both wish we had taken a step back during our maternity leave and truly appreciated all those special moments we had with our new sons. I’m not saying I hated every minute of it, of course not. But I didn’t bask in the glory that is motherhood, not until Cole was about six months old and I felt comfortable balancing work, marriage and being a mom.

So, here’s my tip to new and experienced moms alike: remind yourself that you are a good mother, no matter what type of mother you are, and look at that child and tell yourself, “I had a hand in creating that beautiful creature, that’s pretty amazing.”